Ready to be self-empowered?
Self empowerment is important to find inner strength and become the best person you can be.
My Background
I have rarely lacked self-esteem in my adult life. Some of my friends have from time to time even pointed out that I maybe have a bit too much belief in myself and my own qualities and they are probably right.
But hey, if I don’t believe in me - who will?
It wasn’t always like that, however. I remember the times in my early- to mid-teens when I was really questioning my own abilities. It was music, time alone, and long nightly walks in woods that gave me the strength. It gave me time to sort my thoughts and have formed the person I have become, for good and for worse. It may sound odd, but it worked for me.
Another thing is that I have never been a fan of self-help books and personal development. I’ve always found those things to be a “snake-oil” kind of thing. After joining The Entre Blueprint and meeting Jeff Lerner however, I have changed my views on this. It really got me (and hundreds of others!) to challenge the way we look at certain things in not only business, but life in general. There are some really thought provoking ideas in his training and mentoring which I highly recommend checking out.
Self-Empowerment: Peace of Mind and Success in Life
Self-empowerment means taking control of your own life. The main characteristic of a truly self-empowered person is tranquility. When you are self-empowered, you will have control over your internal and external life. Your emotions and inner-self will be aligned and in harmony. This has a direct effect on your external life as someone who is at peace with herself will also find it easier to be at peace with the world around.
Example 1 - My change of habits
Since this is a business oriented blog, let’s have a look at a couple of examples from my own life.
I used to get up late, eat unhealthy and work on my business way less than I should. It’s easier to do nothing, or just watch morning TV, right?
However, I always felt guilty for not doing what I knew I had to do. I was always lagging behind. This made me irritated as I didn’t feel good about myself not doing what I knew I should. My irritation, my inner weakness, was reflected in the physical world around me.
However, I took action and bit by bit I started changing my daily habits and work ethics which you can read more about in my Self-Motivation Tips post.
Example 2 - The Bad Leader & Lack of Self Empowerment
I once used to work in an environment where the boss wasn’t exactly a pleasure working with. Some days he would come to work happy as a lark, while other days he was a boiling bull about to explode. The ones who worked for him tip-toed as if we were walking on broken glass whenever he was in the room afraid to say, do or even think about something which could upset him.
Many of his employees got into arguments with him and many quit. Seeing some of my colleagues crying in the restroom after fighting with him became a nearly daily experience. Needless to say, the working environment wasn’t the best.
However, It never bothered me too much. He would yell at me, I would say “yes, yes” and forget about it. The next day we would be friends again as if nothing happened.
Over time, I started noticing that because of the way he acted, nobody would talk to him. Nobody would ask him how he felt, if everything was good at home etc. So I started doing some research on my own.
I found out that his kids hated him for being a drunk (we couldn’t tell - he only drank in the afternoons at home) and his wife hated him. At one point she even divorced him but none of us knew. I also discovered that the company he was running had some serious financial issues.
Then, one day by sheer luck, I ran into him at a café and I asked to sit down with him. He agreed, and we got to talk. He seemed like the nicest person, laughing and smiling. So, I tried talking to him about some more personal stuff… and, lo and behold, he opened up! After nearly three hours of talking I finally knew why he acted like he did. His inner-self was totally messed up.
Shortly thereafter I quit, but I have heard that he later started seeing a psychiatrist and learned to empower himself so that he could have a tool box he could use when he felt bad. As a result of his self-empowerment journey, he quit drinking, his kids love him again and his business is soaring.
Both of these examples may sound obvious, but I wanted to stress that inner peace is crucial to both personal- and business success.
Could you be free from stress and find inner peace… Could you be self-empowered if you just had the tools needed for the task?
Discover how people are transforming their life from dull and meaningless to interesting and full of joy:
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1 - Be Aware Of Your Powers
Awareness is crucial and involves recognizing your external surrounding, your physical self, your inner-self and your powers. To be fully aware and fully empowered you must be able to recognize stress and learn how to act to relieve yourself from stress. This article has 101 ideas to get rid of stress. Lot’s of fun ideas. Be aware of the powers you possess inside to regain charge of your own life.
2 - Remove All Friction
What I discovered was that the one main thing which makes me irritated and stressed is friction. Friction could be anything which hinders you from doing or achieving what you want.
What friction is, will be different from person to person, but to me it is all those small annoying things which interfere in my daily routines. Of course it also includes bigger financial issues, like if your car breaks down in the beginning of your family road trip.
Not all friction can be avoided, but I am doing daily life-optimization to remove as much friction as possible from my life. I strongly recommend you do too. Make a list of all the things which annoys you, and see which of them can either be outsourced, or totally eliminated.
Personal examples:
- Hate buying groceries? Get it delivered on the door or pay your kids to do it.
- Hate making arrangements and keeping track of stuff? Hire a personal assistant from an outsourcing company for a couple of hundred bucks a month..
Business examples:
- Dislike doing sales calls? Why not train someone to do it for you and / or outsource it.
- Hate paying the bills and doing the accounting? Good. As a business owner you shouldn’t. It’s better to pay a specialist to do it for you!
Less friction = More happy-time!
3 - The Past Means Nothing
What has happened, has happened and cannot be undone. Holding grudges will fill your soul with inner anger and stress. Did your wife divorce you or did you lose a good friend? Those are both sad elements and something you will carry with you for a long time, but don’t spend time thinking of what could have been done differently. Don’t blame yourself. It can be hard, but you cannot control the past, so stop thinking about it. What you of course can do if you really want your ex-wife back (referring back to the example above) is to talk to her and tell her how you feel. Ask her where she stands and get a final answer. Then either you get together again or you move on.
On the opposite, some people are so stuck in the positive aspects of the past that they don’t live in the “now.” Maybe you have a friend who only can talk about all the fun stuff you used to do together back in high-school, but when you try talking about your current lives you get no feedback? That’s not sound either...
To achieve inner peace, you must live in the present. Hold on to good memories and let the bad ones go..
Criticizing, judging and regretting will not bring your life forward. It will only lace your inner-self with guilt. One of the most important tools in your empowerment toolbox is forgiveness. Through forgiveness can you achieve something much bigger - Peace Of Mind.
4 - The Mindset-Shift
Only through rigorously growing and cultivating a new mindset, can you soar as a human being. If you truly want to be a better person and find success in both your personal and business life, you must stop doing what you currently do. Your current thoughts, habits and beliefs are the reason why your life is what it is. You cannot expect your life to change if you keep doing the same things. Cultivate a new mindset and control your thoughts, not the other way around.
5 - Only Care About What You Can Control
Stop caring about the future. There is a thin, thin line between the future and self-empowerment. Plan for the future, but make sure you only concern yourself with the parts of your future you can actually control. I’ll admit, this one has been difficult for me. I daydream and plan for the future, and sometimes I am so immersed in working on websites and wealth creation that I forget about living right now. Like today, I am sitting indoors writing this article. But outside the sun is shining, and I’d love to be outside by the sea. But I know that if I postpone this blog post, it will hurt the growth of my website - my business. If I don't do this I won't be making money online. To maximally empower yourself - Live today, but plan for tomorrow.
6 - Flow With The Water
If you are floating down a stream, you will do whatever you can to avoid big rocks. Apply the same strategy to life: When life is throwing stones at you, duck and change direction. Pick your fights, and look at changes in your life as new opportunities.
I used to work for a Houston based oil & gas company. When they laid off hundreds of people and offered severance packages, a lot of people broke down. Some people got heart attacks over the following weeks because of stress, and two (that I know of) even committed suicide. I, on the other hand, raised my hand and gladly took the severance package. It was one of the best days of my life, and the start of a new and better future. Self empowerment lesson: Take control, and you will be happy!
Go down the path of least resistance, but focus on what really matters: Relationships, peace of mind and creating a legacy.
7 - Trust in You. Trust in Others.
You must be a firm believer in yourself in order for other people to trust you as well. Trust in your decisions and stick with the choices you make. Trust is basically a quality that drives you forward toward being a better decision maker. Make your choices and stick with them. Have faith in your own judgments. Believing in yourself is a vital part of the self-empowerment journey. Also learn to trust others, without being naive. Putting trust in others allows you to let go of worry, doubt, and fear.
8 - Make Peace With What You’ve Got
It’s easy to get caught up in a vicious circle of not recognizing what you’ve currently got in your life but instead always chase the next shiny object or “must have” thing. You’re chasing dreams, dreams which often are nothing more than earthly goods. Basically, meaningless objects.
Instead focus on the good things you have in your life now. Write it down on a piece of paper (not mobile phone or laptop). It could be big things like having a family you love or smaller things like watching the flowers in spring. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that no matter how dark life may seem, no matter how stressed and exhausted you are, there is always something positive going on in your life. In order to be self empowered you just have to find those things and appreciate them.
9 - Chill
Self empowerment is much about finding inner peace. It’s therefore important to take daily brakes. Take time out from your daily life to relax and meditate. Meditation is an excellent way to free your body of stress. Take some time each day to enjoy silence. I love sitting by the sea for a couple of hours a few times a week, just watching the deep blue ocean, and smelling the salty air. It cleanses my soul. Meditation boosts serotonin which is a chemical process in the brain associated with mood. When meditating (which also could involve sitting alone listening to music!) your attitude improves, you will be less stressed (decreases cholesterol level) and you will also sleep better.
10 - Take Responsibility
Accountability is one of the cornerstones of self empowerment. You need to know exactly what you are responsible for in your life. The same goes for your business, or if you are an employee, by the way. How can you know what you need to be doing if you don’t know what you’re responsible for? Be responsible and you will find yourself guilt-free from life’s circumstances.
11 - Share Your Greatness [But don’t brag!]
Sometimes bragging is a good thing. Don’t be shy about bragging about your achievements. However, bragging can sometimes come off as a bit “smuggish”. And nobody likes a smug. However, let people know why you have changed, and how your change of habits have made your life better. Maybe it can help them become empowered and independent too.
12 - Always Be Truthful
Lying makes you feel guilty. Guilt leads to shame. Shame, put somewhat extremely, eventually leads to feelings of worthlessness. Truthfulness is therefore another cornerstone of true self-empowerment. Don’t lie to your spouse, don’t lie to your business partners and don’t lie to your employees. It will backfire. Treat others like you want them to treat you. I bet you don’t want people lying to you, so don’t lie to others.
13 - Self Respect
If you want people to respect you, and see you for who you really are, you must first have a certain level of self respect. If you let your mind, body and life just waste away how can you expect others to respect you? If this is you, step up the game, and become more self confident. Through self development you will be empowered and strong and this will display clearly in your body posture and actions. When you walk with pride and dignity the world around you will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Self empowerment and self respect are two sides of the same coin. You can find some more tips on how to get more self esteem here.
14 - Get a Mentor
Every successful business entrepreneur in the history of man has had at least one mentor. Most successful business owners probably have had multiple coaches and mentors through their careers.
Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook has been heavily influenced (and possibly mentored by) Bill Gates. Bill Gates' mentor is Warren Buffet. Warren was mentored by the great and late Benjamin Graham.
A good business mentor or life coach will hold you accountable and steer your career, life or business in the right direction. A good coach will challenge your beliefs and make you think differently - How can you change your path if you keep walking the same road?
Apply the ideas above to your life, and start learning more in depth on each of the topics to fully understand what is needed to become truly independent and self empowered.